Stages: The High School Years
And these years focus all around the idea of purpose. Here, you are an affirmer of who they are and a refiner, guiding them towards who they need to be.
Affirm who they are, your values as a family. If you don’t lead your family with vision and a 30,000-ft view of what you all stand for, then that is going to die with you.
We also can refine their skills and interpersonal skills, and help our kids join those together with their passions.
One of the big questions I have gotten consistently over the years from high school students is “How do I know what I am supposed to do with my life?” It’s a great, big, intimidating existential question… but it doesn’t need to necessarily stress us out.
As parents, we can help them realize the gifting and talents they have. We can help them verbalize the passions they have. And we can help acknowledge how they’re wired (their personality)… and then we can guide them to combine all three of those.
Where their personality, their talents, and their passions collide is where they should be looking to make an impact.
Some of the questions they’re asking in this phase are:
- Where do I belong?
- Why can’t I?
- How can I matter?
- What will I do?
And here is the kicker—THEY NEED TO SERVE. In a phase all about purpose and figuring out what they want to do, they need to go out and do it! You don’t develop your skills on the football field watching a game on the couch. You don’t learn to manage people really well by JUST diving into a book. You get some experience early on.
Data collected from more than 5 million children and teens from all backgrounds and situations consistently revealed that “Family Support” (you as parents in your changing roles) and “Service to Others” [one hour a week or more] directly correlate to success in life.