Stages: Birth through Toddler
In this phase, You are a protector and caretaker. We can think of ourselves in this phase as an air traffic controller—We are controlling the flights, the flight paths, the landing, taking off, everything. In this stage, you give no freedom, because that would be irresponsible, because babies are 100% dependent on us as caretakers. In this phase, babies need your presence and continual reassurance that you are there.
And then we get closer to the toddler years. *Fun Fact, toddlers go through the scientific method. Maybe you heard that and experienced a form of PTSD, but do you remember learning the scientific method back in middle school? It explained that first we observe the world, then we form hypotheses, then we test these hypotheses, then we collect data, then we analyze the data, and finally we form conclusions. Well it’s what our brains do at two different times.. the first of which is in the toddler years.
Maybe you have experienced the “terrible twos”… or as we have in our home, the “throat-punch-threes”. These are years where our toddlers are testing every boundary in existence. But they’re doing this, to some degree, against their will—It’s how their brain is wired. They have formed hypotheses from the observations they’ve made in those first few years of life. If I whine, then _____ happens. If I cry at night, then ____ happens. If I’m in a store and reach for something, then _______ happens.
But now they’re testing these hypotheses, and it looks a lot like teenage rebellion. Maybe you’ve heard the term “threenager”. It’’s a pretty common phenomenon. May be why you have a whiny, defiant, difficult three-year-old. They need reassurance, boundaries need to be held and reinforced, and there needs to be consistent parental figures who will lovingly and gently remind them that they will be there no matter what, the rules are there for a reason, and that they can not push you away.