Stay in Your Circle
Discussion Questions
- Who and what have been the primary influences in your life when it comes to your view of marriage?
- How have these influences made it difficult for you to love your spouse unconditionally, the way God loves you? How have they helped?
Read Matthew 7:3-5. - “3 Why do you see the speck that is in your [spouse]’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your [spouse], ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your [spouse]’s eye…” In Marriage Circles, you are required to draw a circle around yourself and only work on the person inside your circle. How your spouse is doing inside their circle is none of your business! In these verses, Jesus paints a vivid image of a similar idea. In marriage, this most often shows up as blaming and complaining.
Why is it so difficult to stay in our circle? What are the things you most often blame and complain about? - Why is it that blaming and complaining don’t lead to relational growth? What does Jesus suggest to do instead? How might that look in marriage when you’re struggling?
- Share a time when your spouse showed you grace or forgiveness when it was undeserved. How did it make you feel?
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. - “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.” Remembering to “stay in your circle,” which of the attributes of love do you personally struggle with the most?
- Sometimes it’s helpful to hear what God’s love is NOT. Take a stab at creating the opposite of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. “Ex: Love is impatient…” As you hear the opposite of those verses, what convicts you most, and what practical steps do you think God wants you to take?
1-on-1 Conversation Starter
• Schedule a time this week where you can have an uninterrupted conversation with your spouse. With the circle still drawn around yourself, rather than asking “how was your day?”, ask:
○ What was your high and low this week?
○ What practical things can I do this week to help?
Challenge for the Week
• Pick an attribute of love from 1 Corinthians 13 and ask God to help you love your spouse that way this week. Whether it’s patience, kindness or not keeping a record of wrongs – focus on that one area so you can be a better spouse and find practical ways throughout the week to live it out. Share what area you’re working on with your spouse. Before the next Marriage Circles meeting, find various opportunities to encourage your spouse’s efforts to work on this area and thank him or her for “working on his or her circle.”