How to Communicate Better in Your Marriage
Discussion Questions
- There are 4 types of negative communication styles that we often use in marriage:
a. Withdrawal or Shutting Down- an unwillingness to endure difficult
conversations
b. Suspicion- unfairly assuming the worst of your spouse
c. Escalation- responding in such a way where the conversation gets increasingly
hostile
d. Invalidation- dismissing or minimizing your spouse’s perspective.
Which of the 4 types of negative communication styles are you most often guilty
of when conflict arises in your marriage?
10 - How does your communication style differ when you speak to your spouse compared
to other relationships at home, work and friends? Why is that the case?
1-on-1 Conversation Starter
• Schedule a time this week where you can have an uninterrupted conversation with
your spouse. With the circle still drawn around yourself, ask your spouse the questions listed below.
○ Practice active listening. When he or she is done talking, reply with “what I hear you saying is … How accurate is that? “(and tell them what you heard). See how well you do.
• Ask your spouse the following questions:
Where would you like to go on our next vacation? What is one habit that I can change that would bless you?
Challenge for the Week
• Continue to practice active listening in every day, unscheduled conversation this week. When you get home, at meals, before going to bed, etc.
• Some example questions to ask your spouse so you can practice listening are: What did you think of Marriage Circles this week? What’s coming up this week that you’re worried/anxious about? What’s coming up that you’re excited about?