Forgiveness

Discussion Questions

1. Which is more difficult for you? Asking for forgiveness or receiving forgiveness?
   What makes it a challenge for you?
2. What is it about you that might make it difficult for your spouse to ask for forgiveness from you Ask your spouse for insight on this and stay in your circle!
3. Do you believe it’s possible to “forgive and forget?” How could forgiving and remembering help you move toward greater future oneness?
4. Once you forgive your spouse for an offense, the debt has been canceled—they owe you nothing! Even though it may not be possible to forget the offense, to what extent are you guilty of continuing to bring up forgiven offenses? Do you keep a mental scorecard that you remind your spouse of? How could you grow in this area?
5. What offenses against each other have you not fully dealt with and offered or
   received forgiveness?
6. What is the difference between saying, “I’m sorry” and asking, “Will you forgive me?” In your marriage are the words “will you forgive me” spoken often? Why or why not?
7. Our ability to extend forgiveness to our spouse is directly related to our ability to understand and receive God’s forgiveness for our own sin. Our relationship with God would not be possible without forgiveness of our sin. What keeps you from 1) embracing God’s forgiveness and 2) offering forgiveness to your spouse more fully? (e.g. Lack of humility? Shame or sense of inadequacy? Desire to be right? Unwillingness to go first in apologizing?)
   
   1-on-1 Conversation Starter
   • Ask each other to fill in this prompt: I’d finally be happy if _. Ask each other how
   you would complete that sentence. Then discuss this idea: The only thing that
   would make us truly happy is that we are forgiven and Jesus made a way for us to
   continue in that forgiveness. Do you disagree with this statement? Does this change
   your previous response?
   
   Challenge for the Week
   • On your own, take a walk outside in nature where you can gain a sense of the
   bigness of God and the smallness of you. Confess any shortcoming and failure to
   God and allow Him to speak to your heart in the quiet of nature. Then share your
   experience with your spouse.
   • Agree on an appropriate time and place where you address unforgiven offenses
   against each other. Go into this with an attitude of offering forgiveness based on
   your undeserved forgiveness from God. This is not a place to defend yourself or
   win an argument. This is a place for reconciliation—canceling old debts and getting
   on the same team again.

• Category: Marriage