Take Off Your Crown
Discussion Questions
- What is a good definition for humility? What is it? And what is it NOT?
- Every husband and wife desires to wear the metaphorical crown in marriage. The problem is, both husband and wife are wearing their own crown! We all want our way, in our timing. We all think our way is right and we get frustrated when our way doesn’t happen. Consider the moments when you are “wearing the crown” in marriage. What most often gets in the way of you showing humility to your spouse? Why is it often difficult to show humility to the ones you love most?
- Take a moment to write down two or three moments when your spouse chose humility by putting your needs above his or her own. As you are comfortable, share one of these moments with your Marriage Circles group.
- According to author Gary Chapman, there are five Love Languages: 5lovelanguages.com
Do you know what your top two love languages are? Do you know your spouse’s? How well do you communicate expectations regarding these love languages?
a. Quality Time
b. Acts of Service
c. Gifts
d. Physical Touch
e. Words of Affirmation - What are the limiting factors and circumstances to you loving your spouse in this or her preferred love language?
- Look again at Philippians 2:1-8. What are some of the ways Jesus put you first? Be specific. Make this list as long as you can.
1-on-1 Conversation Starter
• Find a time this week to share other “memories” you wrote down on how your spouse chose humility and put you first. Thank your spouse… This is not an opportunity to blame or complain about current circumstances!
• Finish this sentence without interruption: “I feel loved by you when _____”
Challenge for the Week
• After hearing the list of humble things that you did that left a positive impact on your spouse, and how your spouse feels “loved by you when _” reflect on Philippians 2:1-8 and look for opportunities to put him or her first (without having to be told what to do!) Consider his or her love languages when doing this. Be creative! (It’s like “Secret Santa”) Here are a few ideas: Give a specific compliment, avoid complaining, write them a love note or text, give a meaningful gift, plan a date night, give positive physical touch/cuddling/kissing/massage etc., take care of a household chore you normally don’t do, brag on each other in front of others, complete a fun project together, surprise him or her with a meaningful wrapped gift.